Review: The Adventures of Tintin

For those of you who grew up in my generation of America, be warned! Tintin and Rin Tin Tin are not the same thing! Though the trailer for this movie featured a dog (whose name is Snowy, if you were wondering), the name does not refer to the four-legged Hollywood star, but to the boy detective who goes on adventures in the stories of Belgian writer Georges Remi.

The movie starts with Tintin's discovery of a model of a ship called the Unicorn. Of course, this ship is highly sought after by many people for all the wrong reasons, for you see, the ship is a clue to the location of sunken pirate treasure. However, it is said that only a true Haddock, the family that owned the original, can figure it out. What ensues is a dangerous adventure that takes them to faraway lands and introduces them to a family feud many generations old.

Good news: the animation in this movie was amazing. When I think of MoCap, I think of The Polar Express and the horrible, nightmare-inducing creepiness that is Tom Hanks's soulless eyes. Or A Christmas Carol, which wasn't a whole lot better. Tintin on the other hand handled it beautifully. Whether it is due to the technological improvements made to the process, or finding the perfect combination of realism and cartoonishness, I don’t know. The characters of the movie looked and felt amazing. There was even a point along the way where the animation was so realistic, I actually forgot I was watching an animated film. Everything from the textures to the movement of the characters was pretty much flawless. Except for Snowy. Everyone loved him, but to me he was kind of creepy.

The transitions deserve a special mention, too. This movie needs to be seen in a theater, albeit almost in the same way that 2012 needed to be seen in a theater.  The visuals are so awesome that their awesomeness should only be experienced on the biggest screen possible (which for right now is probably the theater).  Spielberg did so many cool things involving reflections and bubbles and zooms, all of which somehow take the audience into the next scene.  For example, there is a handshake into which the virtual camera zooms, and the next thing you know there are camels walking across the hand.  As it zooms in further, you’re suddenly in the desert.  Even the scene featured in the trailer where the ship comes sailing through the sands of the desert was an amazingly fluid transition.  You can’t do that in live action!  Don’t take my word for it.  Go see it!

 Now for the bad… Being from a young American audience, I don't know the story of Tintin at all. Whether this movie was made for an American audience or not, I really don’t know, but I will use the example of another Spielberg movie to make my point: Raiders of the Lost Ark. You come into that story smack dab in the middle of a heist led by none other than Harrison Ford playing Indiana Jones. By the end of the opening sequence, you know all about the archaeologist who has more than a desk job. Halfway through The Adventures of Tintin, I still don’t know who the hell this guy is. Through a series of newspaper clippings shown on the wall near the beginning of the film, we get that he’s a teenage journalist who has covered epic stories. Great!  Then he pulls out a gun.  The kid looks 15, has no parents in his life, and has a gun.  Talk about a respectable citizen.  Who is this guy who has questionable taste in friends, looks barely old enough to cross the street by himself yet goes on adventures around the world?  It’s been over a month since I have seen the movie and I STILL don’t know.  Also, I’m too lazy to read the books.

Also, fair warning, this 107 minute movie was actually probably over 180 minutes. At the end of the screening, I was exhausted and just ready to go home.  I believe story was sacrificed in order to create the most intense visual orgasm ever created.  Not that visual orgasms are bad, but you can’t make one last for almost two hours.  Someone’s going to fall asleep and someone else will end up disappointed.  This movie had the potential for extreme awesomeness, perhaps one of the best animated movies ever.  But it isn’t.  And I blame story.

So, if this is the only paragraph you’re going to read, here’s what I think: there was plenty of action, plenty of storytelling, plenty of great visuals and transitions, but it was way, way too long. Huge open mouth ecstatic face for visuals, but a sad face for story. My advice: see it in theaters for the awesomeness, but don’t expect much out of the rest of it.